I always save the title (in LJ it's called the subject) for the very last thing. Blog, spell-check, preview, title, publish.
Usually I think of the title last because I don't know what I'm going to blog until I start writing. It might sound impulsive to blog this way but I figure it's no more impulsive then my husband changing his Facebook status every 10 minutes while watching American Idol.
His last update: "I am Spartacus."
Ten minutes before that: "Wine and Cheese! Ding Dong!"
I know. He makes no sense.
Anyways, I'm too lazy to re-type the whole original blog post. It was about how I hate snow and how I am easily pleased. I just need a little sunshine, a clean house, folded laundry, well-behaved children, a positive bank account, a little cash, new clothes, a poop-scooped yard, sweets after dinner, and my husband to whisper sweet-nothings in my ear.
It's probably safe to say that your life will never be the same, seeing how you didn't get to read it and all.
I know. I'm sorry.
Instead, I'll leave you this:
Unfortunately, my kids don't appear to hate the snow as much as I do. It is safe to conclude, however, that this post makes no sense (much like my husband.)
I just hope that tonight, when he whispers sweet-nothings in my ear, it's nothing like this gem: "wah, wah, wah!!! Pit sweat."
We were three of those people.
1,200+ people that walked while chanting, "SAVE OUR SCHOOLS." 1,200+ people that walked to the beat of the drums. 1,200+ that walked to keep their schools open. 1,200+ people that care enough about their children's education to make a sign and to show the school board that we are not happy.
Three city blocks full of people.
Some will say that it's not the fault of the school board. It's not their fault that a 4.2 million dollar deficit must be made up. Some will say to blame the Kansas Legislature. If funds had not ever been cut, the problem wouldn't have ever been created.
I don't believe that to be true. I think due to the mishandling of funds and budgets, our local school board has created a big problem.
A big problem of not enough money, inadequately balanced classrooms, and zero solutions.
And so we went, of course, because the idea that the Lawrence school board might potentially close our neighborhood schools is devastating. Closing schools is a permanent decision to a temporary problem.
And I think it's a big problem when ONE teacher is expected to teach THIRTY+ students.
It's a big problem when teacher's salaries are cut while we cater to the top-heavy administrators.
It's a big problem when children have to be bused out of their neighborhoods and into another to attend school.
I won't stand for it. I won't allow Simon to be thrown in a huge classroom and told to fend for himself. I won't buy a house in a neighborhood without a school. I won't put Simon on a bus. And while it's neither here nor there, I certainly will never be able to get a part-time job teaching in Lawrence. I don't stand a chance. Schools closing = no new teacher jobs.
My arms are sore from carrying Bennett. My legs ache from walking. (I know. Pathetic.) My heart is heavy for the families (especially the children) that will lose in this battle but my small, unimportant voice will not be quiet.
Hear our message, school board: SAVE OUR SCHOOLS. Invest in OUR children. Find ANOTHER solution.
I go to Simon's school every Friday afternoon for a couple of hours. I think it's important to be involved in your child's classroom. Some days I sort papers. Some days I make copies. Some days I work with kids. Some days I create posters. Some days I color. Or cut. Or glue.
I do whatever needs done. And there's a lot of stuff that needs done.
It's important to me to be involved. (HELLO, I am a teacher. I know what goes on inside of schools.) It's also important to me that I am viewed as the coolest Mom ever. (HELLO, low self-esteem with the need to prove something.)
And so, speaking of how I am the coolest Mom ever, I recently made Simon's class some cookies. Every few months, the snack sack comes to our home. The instructions are to fill it with something for the whole class to enjoy. I usually get something boxed like fruit snacks or crackers and then I make some sort of snack for fun. (HELLO, over-achiever.) Since I volunteer every Friday, it was the perfect time to make some cookies.
So without further ado, I bring you Mouse Poo cookies. 
( Recipe and more... )
( Read more... )
When you come down to it, what Mom doesn't love their kid? Cause that is the bottom line. As parents, we do our best. We make decisions every day that determine the people our children will become.
Luckily, I turned out perfectly. We can all thank my Mother for that one.
*raises hand*
1.) Our attorney called this morning. You remember? The one who is representing us for the car accident Matt was involved in almost THREE YEARS AGO?
Yes, that attorney. The attorney that is representing our case in which we are being sued for $175,000 (word form: ONE HUNDRED SEVENTY-FIVE THOUSAND D
Which leads us to believe that the case will possibly be settled outside of court,
which means Matt probably won't have to face a jury,
which means evil, greedy man will not receive $175,000,
which means we might be able to go on with our lives without this lawsuit hanging over our heads.
2.) Matt is working on our taxes. It's looking very good for us. Very, very good. Good enough that I'm willing to bet we'll be debt free by March of 2010. (For those that struggle with knowing the date, that is practically next month.)
(Next month = debt free.)
We've *almost* paid off $28,000 (word form: TWENTY-EIGHT THOUSAND DOLLARS) of credit card debt, school loans, and car payments in less than two years.
We've changed our future. If you are struggling with debt, or money management, or investments, or budgeting then find a Dave Ramsey class and enroll. It will change your life. I promise.
~~~~
Thank you, sweet baby Jesus for taking care of my family. Thank you, bearded adult Jesus for Matt's wonderful job. Thank you, Mary, mother of Jesus, for good health. Thank you, Holy Spirit, for disclaimers and readers and good news and bad news. We're so blessed and we know it.
Amen.
I haven't even begun to potty train Bennett. I'm of the opinion that potty training, like life in general, can be difficult or it can be easy. And if I know anything, it's this: take the easy way out. Go down the path of least resistance.
It's true. You can start potty training earlier and work for months and months. Or you can start training later and work for a shorter time. Of course, my experience is limited only to Simon and a handful of children that I worked with at St. Joseph's. (read: I am an obviously an expert.)
But as with all things related to child-rearing, I kinda view myself as an expert. Doing Babywise with your kid? Expect an email from me. Post a picture of your baby on Facebook? Know that I am scouring the background looking for bottles. Put your kid in a paper diaper? Feel sorry for you.
Cause sadly, it's true. I'm just here to give unsolicited advice. Baby not sleeping through the night? Put him in your bed. Baby is hungry? Put her on the boob. Baby hates his carseat? Get over it. Giving your baby solids? No-no. Letting her cry-it-out? Double no-no.
Baby showing signs of being ready to potty train? Ignore all cues. Continue slapping diaper on bum.
Cause you know what they say? "Diaper on bum? No big kid can he become."
Be nice
What are your house rules? Do tell.
I always hate the "after" post. What topic should touch the one before? Do I continue on or change the subject? What I wrote on Tuesday doesn't make me proud. It doesn't even make me pleased. I don't feel like a better mother or a happier person because I wrote about the struggle of holding it all together.
I wrote about how I lost control with Simon. I did. I lost control and got really angry.
And I think part of the reason I got so angry is because Simon can/will/does drive me up the wall sometimes. (The other reason is an unhappy little thing called PMS.) (But we don't need to talk about that. Do we?) Ahem. Simon repeats himself. He bounces. He disobeys. He tells stories that never end. He teases his brother. He gets louder if ignored. He splashes in the tub. He spills his milk. He never wants to eat supper. He is always hungry. He watches too much TV. He wants to pick out his own clothes. He never ties his shoes. He walks slowly. He runs without looking.
But wait. There's more.
He is grouchy in the morning. He hates school. He can't wait to grow up. He won't eat in certain restaurants. He is impatient. He jumps down the last five stairs (every single time). He chases the dog. He grabs things from his brother. He worries. He is afraid of sirens, loud noises, the dark, police cars, tornadoes, seat-belts, and dentists. He wants his Daddy. He wants attention. He wants me.
He wants me and my attention now. By the way, is now the time when I admit that I spend way too much time on the computer? I do. I spend too much time on the computer. So, I'm setting some boundaries with my computer time.
Here are the rules: 45 minute email, blog, facebook check in the morning. After this time, I am going to shut all tabs. No drive-by F5ing. While Bennett is napping, the computer is fair-game. After nap time commences, the tabs are shut down again. No refreshing. No checking my email as I walk by the computer. My goal is to engage and enjoy my time with both Simon and Bennett. If Simon wants to watch cartoons? Fine. I will too without the computer in my lap.
And maybe, just maybe if I listen the first-time, Simon wouldn't have to repeat himself.
Now that we've had this discussion, let's change the subject. Okay?
I see who you are. I see who you are becoming.
One minute you are laughing and wrestling with your brother, the next minute he is screaming. He is screaming and you are looking at me, waiting for my response. Your face is half-hidden behind your DS. I see fear in your eyes.
When you pinched his arm tonight, I got mad. I got really mad. I yelled.
You ran upstairs and sat on your bed. I put the computer down and hugged him, not you. I held him. I talked to him.
Your shaky and scared voice found me in the kitchen 10 minutes later, "Mama, can I get up now and go to the bathroom?"
I stomped up the stairs. "Go to the bathroom. Brush your teeth. Get into bed. I'm done with you. Why would you pinch your brother? Is that something we do? We do not behave that way. We do not hurt other people. I am very disappointed in you."
I did not yell. I screamed. My face was ugly. My eyes stared into yours.
You were scared. You were scared of me. Tears squeezed out.
My voice came down, almost a whisper, "I am so disappointed in you."
Into your bed you went, alone, at 7:30. No bath. No books. No wiggling and giggling in your brother's bed. No goodnight hugs. No asking questions. No Daddy home to rescue you from your Mama's wrath.
Who are you becoming? Are you a child full of love? Are you a kind and gentle child? A child who is spoken to and not yelled at?
I am not really disappointed in you. It's what older siblings do, right? Pinch their brothers? Scratch their sisters? Lock each other out of the house?
I am disappointed in myself.
I'm sorry, Simon. I'm sorry that you were scared of me. I put these words here for you now, in hopes that you will read them later.
Tomorrow? Tomorrow I'll be better. I'll yell less. I'll put the computer down. I'll engage.
I see who I do not want to be as your Mother.
I'm so disappointed.
My hair looks bad in this picture. That's all. Carry on.
It's been a crazy busy week but what's new, right? I've recently committed to working as much as I can (read: 2 days a week). It's a New Year and this is the year we are going to get out of debt.
I hate it and I love it.
The more I work, the more money we have, the faster we get out of debt. The less I work, the more I'm home, the slower we get out of debt. The good news is that my work as a substitute is always negotiable. If I don't feel like going, I don't answer the phone. If Matt's schedule changes, I don't go.
The bad news is that we don't have a reliable babysitter any more. Our beloved Amy is in her last semester at Ku. She's working at an internship that will hopefully translate into a full time job this summer. Internship for her future or babysit my adorable children?
I know, annoying.
So, we let Bennett go hang out at his Great-Grandparent's house. I have major reservations about leaving him alone with them. My Granny (aka Gigi) is in her 80s. She no longer walks and falls frequently when she stands up. She had a stroke a few months ago and has trouble holding a pen. My Grandpa (aka Papa) is grouchy. He's gets tired easily. He only leaves the house to drive to the store, to take the dog to the Vet, or Gigi to the hospital doctor. Mentally they are both sharp but their bodies are defying them. I never want to get old.
But bring them Bennett for a few hours each week? Their whole world becomes happier. They have a reason to get dressed. They go to the store for special food (read: jelly beans, crackers, and cookies). They read him books. They hold him in their lap. They watch PBS. Papa sits on the floor building with him.
And Bennett's opinion of the whole thing? He loves it. He loves playing with their large lego set. He loves their huge, old person TV. He eats jelly beans by the handful. He asks frequently, "Go Gigi house?" "Go play, Gigi?" He crawls in and out of Gigi's wheelchair. He runs into her arms.
And so we let him go. We walk away confidently. Gigi and Papa won't be here forever. I know that.
Bennett's fine. They are all fine together. I hate it.
This is the year when I let go just a little. This is the year we are going to get out of debt.
We loaded up and piled into the van. The van, meanwhile, was packed full. Coats, hats, mittens, sunglasses, boots, extra layers, water, temperature above freezing, good attitudes, camera- check. Everything we needed was present and accounted for.
The assignment? Get the boys out of house, have fun, and try not to get hurt.
My assignment? You Capture: Winter.
If there is anything Simon loves, it's Legos. He loves them in the morning. He loves them in the day time. He loves them in the evening.
He builds Star Wars characters. He builds robots. He builds spaceships, cars, and hover-crafts. He builds houses. He puts the heads together to form long towers of Lego people heads.
He builds horses. And Droids. And Boba Fett.
When he's home, Lego building is all he does (besides pestering Bennett and jumping off my furniture) and he does it all day long.
I love Legos too. He's quiet when he's building. His eyes concentrate on the task at hand. Once the building and creating is finished- he wants to talk.
His stories, though, they go on and on forever. (I wonder where he gets it from?)
"What do you think of this one? It's a duck-robot-shooter with binoculars. He can see in the dark, Mama."
"Did you know that, Mama? Did you know that duck-robot-shooters can see in the dark?"
"They can. Robot-duck-shooters can see in the dark with binoculars and when the bad guy is coming they shoot them down. Like this: [Insert gun sound] and then the guy falls down and then he breaks his skull open and then his brains spill out everywhere."
"Really," I say. "And then what? What happens next?" I ask.
"The vacuum car comes and sucks up all the brains. And he sucks up all the brains with his super powerful sucker hose and then the car drives off but he gets stopped by Small Spy Guy and then Small Spy Guy comes over and then he says: STOP or I wll shoot."
"Small Spy Guy? Who is Small Spy Guy? Why would Small Spy Guy want to shoot the vacuum car? I think the vacuum car is doing a good thing, don't you think? I wouln't want to clean up any brains. Would you?"
"Well, Mama, Small Spy Guy doesn't have any brains and he needs brains so that he can beat the Clone Troopers. And then he uses his arms to shake the brains out of vacuum car but first he says STOP I NEED YOUR BRAINS. I WILL SHOOT."
Did I mention that I love Legos too? I love that for 8 minutes of every hour Simon can actually be quiet. The other 42 minutes?
Spent telling stories like so.
Maybe he'll have a blog someday and he can write down all his great stories. Of course, they will never be as great as the story of Small Spy Guy shooting up vacuum car to get his own brains from duck-robot-shooter.
It's been cold here this past week. Penetratingly chilly. Frigid. Polar. So cold you could freeze your nippies off.
The low temperature felt like negative 22 degrees. Should we write that in word form: TWENTY TWO DEGREES BELOW ZERO.
So, roughly the same temperature as Antarctica? Or perhaps the North Pole? Not surprisingly, it was cold enough that school was canceled for two days. We've also had like 18 million inches of snow.
Okay, so maybe I'm exaggerating a bit. We didn't actually get 18 inches, more like 10.
I've lived in Kansas my whole life but I've never before been in a blizzard like this. The winds created huge snow drifts (3 ft high), tons of accidents, and produced some very excited children. And although it was is cold outside, I wouldn't actually know anything about it. I wore the same sweatpants, t-shirt, and hooded sweatshirt for three days in a row. Our fireplace was on 16/24 hours and the little boys and I did not leave the house.
(Except if you count a trip to Target for more peanut butter (a staple around here) or today when we went to church.)
(I wore my slippers into target.)
(Bad idea.)
It's also a good thing Bennett got a lot of pajamas for Christmas. He's worn footed pjs every single day. Or at least until bedtime, when he gets a fresh pair.
I consider the whole thing a success though. We've managed to stay rather busy and not once did I think about eating any of my children.
We've done a bit of painting:
We've done a bit of baking:
And we've done some science experiments:
Unfortunately, we have to return to school tomorrow. The good news is that the high for tomorrow is 33 degrees.
Just warm enough that my nippies won't freeze.
(I'm still not an "adult." I'll never grow up!)
2000- I was a junior in high school. Heavily involved in the youth group, photography editor for the newspaper, varsity swimmer, and madly crushing on a much older man.
2001- graduated from high school. Moved to Lawrence, Ks for the first time and lived in the Ellsworth dorm at KU, took classes, met Chelse, and got a little wild. Spent some time away from Matty and did a few things not worth mentioning.
2002- got a lot wild. Lived in the Alpha Delta Pi house and in Matty's cheap apartment. Got accepted into the University of Kansas School of Education. Got knocked up. Surprisingly enough, being pregnant at 19 years of age calmed me down quite a bit. Isn't that amazing?
2003- birthed the love child. Got married to
2004- much the same. Lived in Lawrence. Nursed the babe. Went to class and graduated from KU with an almost 4.0 gpa. I felt like I had something to prove: my life was not over. I could graduate from school and still be a mother. Did not really practice any attachment parenting practices though. Deeply saddened by Simon's attachment to Matt.
2005- started graduate classes for MS in Education. I also did student teaching in Gardner and Olathe school districts. Left Simon alone with first babysitter outside of family. Finished up fifth year of schooling. Moved to the orange abode in Olathe to help with church.
2006- went to work full-time at auditory-oral school for the deaf. Enrolled Simon at 3 years old in full-time preschool at same school. Lived in Olathe. Hated life as full-time working mother. Matt worked at church and at Pottery Barn. Met BFF Jennifer. Became pregnant with Baby B.
2007- birthed baby Bennett in the summer. That fall, I quit working full-time and worked 1/2 time at the same auditory-oral school instead. Pulled Simon (4 years) out of full-time preschool at the same school and enrolled him in half-time class as well. Bennett stayed with Matt. Matt got new job as Corrections Officer in Lawrence on 2nd shift. I worked 8-12 and came home. Matt worked 2-11. I never saw Matty. Miserable. Spent money we didn't have. Downward spiral of debt began
2008- Lived with my sister awhile which was a very bad decision. Finally moved back to Lawrence in the summer. Enrolled in Dave Ramsey's class. ($28,000 worth of debt total). Quit auditory-oral teaching job and worked as a para in the fall. Hated it. Started subbing. Loved it. Went back to auditory-oral job in January. Elected to not send Simon (5 years) to kindergarten and instead he went to art preschool 3 days a week. Bennett continued to nurse. Matt received a promotion and raise. Started getting out of debt. STARTED BLOG!
2009- quit auditory-oral job again. Went back to subbing in the fall. Loved it. Got lots of requests. Simon (6 years) went to Kindergarten. Bennett turned 2. I turned 26. Matt turned 33. (I told you he was old!) Matt never sleeps and works as supervisor on 3rd shift. Almost out of debt: paid off $20,000 in one year. Very much in love. Elected to not return to auditory-oral deaf school again.
2010- time will tell. My goals for this year: finally get out of debt ($6,000 or so to go). Buy a house in Lawrence by April of 2010. Get pregnant (with a baby GIRL).
Whew. That was the most boring post ever.
picture and then I will
(until tomorrow)
And this is my first real entry with a real camera (no lie) so be nice. Please? And let's be honest. This photo probably isn't the best face photo ever, but I'm trying to learn.
So! Here's my best so far. It's been snowing, blowing, and just plain crazy cold here in Kansas. We've managed to spend just a few minutes outside this week. Wind chills of 22 degrees below zero won't stop us! (Ok, fine. Lie. I was inside the door, kid was outside the door with Daddy. The wind hadn't started yet.)
(Click to enlarge.)
If you want to see even more of the Best Faces Photos, head over to I heart Faces.
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